John Fredericks NFL Picks Week Two: Pack, Titans Look for Redemption

by John Fredericks, Jack Fredericks, and Nate Perry

 

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Do the Titans really suck? After getting drubbed last week by Arizona at home, Tennessee went in one week from chic Super Bowl pick to the toilet bowl flush.

Jack Fredericks: It’s your favorite Mississippi Marxist coming at you with some increasingly uninformed picks for Week 2 of the NFL. I’ll be on my couch this Sunday, wearing three masks, sitting six feet away from my dog and twelve feet from my girlfriend. I’ve traded in my Bud Lights for a booster shot and I’m ready to quarantine the minute I feel a sneeze coming on! This latte sippin’ lefty has entered the discussion.

We are also adding our Gambling Guru, Reno Nate Perry. He’s a professor in Nevada, an unpopular bartender, and a degenerate gambler. Here’s his statement:

Nate Perry: The Washoe Zephyr is blowing in winners from out West all season and looks to kick it off this week with some hot picks. We’re just getting our feet wet this week, but look for more picks, totals, props, teasers, and parlays as the season moves along.

So here we go with week 2:

New Orleans Saints (-3.5) at Carolina Panthers

John: New Orleans is for real. They trounced the Pack last week at a neutral site. Winston may have found a home with Sean Payton. The ‘Cats are decent, but they beat the Jets. Let thank sink in: they beat the Jets. Saints -3.5

Jack: New Orleans embarrassed everyone’s favorite disgruntled employee, Aaron Rodgers, last week, and I can’t imagine they’ll have much trouble with Sam Darnold and the pitiful Panthers. Saints -3.5

Nate: This is a big-time spot to try and hold it together when it comes to not overreacting after one game. New Orleans ran roughshod over a Packers team that looked like they didn’t want to get off the bus. Carolina, on the other hand, got the win, but they were supposed to do that. Carolina has a solid front seven that could make life difficult on Famous Jameis. Take the home dog here and bank on Carolina not allowing Jameis Winston throw for five TDs this week while limiting Kamara on the ground. Carolina +3.5

Houston Texans (+12.5) at Cleveland Browns

John: The Texans had their one day in the sun, as they sit atop the pathetic AFC South all alone in first place. It’s like a fantasy island. The Brownies did what they also do: blow games in the final minutes (See: The Fumble). But this Houston team is terrible. And Cleveland comes to the Lake in a really bad mood. Lay the wood. Blow out. Browns – 12.5

Jack: I’m not sure I trust Cleveland to blow anyone out, even though Houston has no way to stop the run or the pass or the punt return or the onside kick or the Venmo transaction fees. Even so, I’m going with the Texans. Texans +12.5

Nate: Agree with Jack here. The Browns, while much improved, are still gonna Brown sometimes. Houston doesn’t look as hapless as we thought they’d be. Backdoor looks open for a late Texans cover. No Pick

John to Nate: Man up dude, and make a pick!

Cincinnati Bengals (+2.5) at Chicago Bears

John: The Bungles made believers out of me last week. I love their QB Joey Burrow, and they actually do have something that resembles a defense. The Bears, who I bet last week, moved the ball and stalled on drive after drive. Andy Dalton made a living losing games for Cincy. Here comes another one. As for the Bears: when the chants for Justin Fields start, it’s going to get really ugly at Soldier field really fast. Hold my beer. Bungles +2.5

Jack: Neither of these teams know how to cover a spread. Watch something else. No Pick

Nate: This isn’t a beauty, but the Bears look like a mess. Andy Dalton isn’t the answer and Fields is ready to usurp him at any moment. Never great for chemistry. Look for the Bengals to snag Joe Burrow’s first win on the road here. No Pick

Las Vegas Raiders (+5.5) at Pittsburgh Steelers

John: Raiders played their guts out at home and won the opener for Chucky. They made their bettors happy, and Vegas rocked. Now reality sets in. They fly east on five days’ prep. The Steelers are for real, folks. That defense is ferocious. Ben lost weight. This is a trap play at 5.5 but I love the Curtains at home. Also, for good measure, Marcus Mariota is the Raiders backup QB. Just having to look at him with headphones, standing on the sidelines with a clip board will cost the Raiders at least one game. This is it. Steelers -5.5

Jack: Conventional wisdom says the Raiders will struggle. They played a hard game Monday night and will fly all the way to the east coast to face a formidable Steelers team that won an impressive game last week. I like the Raiders anyway. Raiders + 5.5

Nate: The conventional wisdom is right in this spot and Jack is wrong. West Coast teams coming off a game in the Pacific time zone on a short week are horrible against the spread (5-12-1 since 2005). I can’t bring myself to lay the points with Pittsburgh, but that would have to be the play here. No Pick

Jack to Nate: Why are in you in this column: #NoPickNate

Buffalo Bills (-3.5) at Miami Dolphins

John: The Bills. The Bills. The Bills. Yada, yada, yada. They go to Miami 0-1. Are they pissed? Yes. Are the Fish that good? Maybe. But I like teams rebounding in the second game of the season. Buffalo won’t go 0-2. They got a wake-up call in week one, and Miami escaped with a game it should have lost. Take out the correct-o-tape. Bills -3.5

Jack: Everyone loves Buffalo here since people suspect Miamiover-performedlast week against New England. Then again, the game is in Miami where climate change is eroding the coastline. Advantage, home team? Advantage, nobody. Fish +3.5

Nate: Josh Allen OWNS Miami throughout his career with a 5-1 record and a whole bunch of yards and touchdowns. Miami looks like an improving team and traveling down to Miami has always been tricky. I’m not playing it, but if I had to guess, I think Josh Allen gets right in South Beach and balls out. No Pick

Los Angeles Rams (-4) at Indianapolis Colts

John: LOL. You really think CarsonWentzis the great hope in Indy? The Colts are smoke and mirrors with incessant fake news media hype. You know what else? Trump won. Even Matthew Stafford knows that. Rams -4

Jack: The one thing I know for sure this year is that the AFCsouthis going to SUCK. I’m picking against the Colts and Titans from now until 2046. Rams -4

Nate: Agree with Jack here.Matt Stafford looks reborn in LA. Indy has a vaunted O-line but catches one of the most disruptive defensive lineman in the game with Aaron Donald. Indy’s O-line matched up with Arron Donald and the D-line of the Rams give me just enough pause to not click submit here. My gut tells me that Stafford is hot and that the notably unvaccinated Indy team (that is an outbreak away from having a personnel disaster at some point this season) will probably struggle here. No Pick

San Francisco 49ers (-3.5) at Philadelphia Eagles

John: How high am I on the Eagles? I’d rather have Jalen Hurts running the Joint Chiefs than Milley I love the Eagles here at home, with Philly fans giving the New Jersey salute to masks and their woke mayor. Lincoln Field will rock, the tailgaters are there now! They got their Wednesday night and starting drinking. There is life in Philadelphia. I don’t like Left coast teams coming east and laying points. I can’t believe I’m getting more than a field goal! My best bet. Eagles +3.5

Jack: I’m a little scared of the Eagles right now due to their convincing win last week in Atlanta. I don’t really like this matchup for either team. However, 90 percent of the citizens of San Francisco are vaccinated so I’m going with the Niners. VAXERS-3.5

John To Jack: Fear the Bird….be very afraid. P.S. San Fran residents also step over poop. Not a good look.

Nate: Eagles looked good last week as they dominated Atlanta with their defense. San Francisco owned Detroit for almost the entire game until the final few minutes. San Francisco will have a tougher time scoring against an Eagles defense that hasn’t allowed many big plays. I’ll take the home dog with the points in this one along with under 50 points for the game total. Philly +3.5 /under 50

Denver Broncos (-6) at Jacksonville Jaguars

John: Urban Meyer: welcome to the real world, dude. This is not cushy college football where the whole community fawns at your feet as you dole out scholarships. It’s the NFL! I laughed my ass off last week when this egotistical butt got drubbed. Jags suck and their coach is the next Lou Holtz of the NFL. Broncos are a snooze fest. There’s not enough bourbon in Virginia to get me to watch this stinker. Maybe I’ll go to the dentist for a tooth extraction instead. No Pick

Jack: This game kicks off at 1:00pm and ends at 1:05 pm. Denver +6

Nate: Spending too much time thinking about or watching this game is no way to live your life. Denver is clearly better and should make life tough for Trevor Lawrence and the Jaguars, but who the hell knows. Find another game. No Pick

New England Patriots (-6) at New York Jets

John: The dumpster fire called the N.Y. Jets rages on. Perhaps it’s the ghost of Jimmy Hoffa buried under the Jets logo in the swamp that haunts them. Billy B. is licking his chops at going against a rook QB. More Pats fans will be in New Jersey than Jets fans. Who the hell goes to New Jersey anyway? Pats -6

Jack: Six is a lot to lay for a team on the road with a rookie quarterback who lost last week. I’m sure I won’t watch any of this game and will have to hear about it on every sports podcast Monday morning. No Pick

Nate: New England probably rolls here just by virtue of the fact that Bill Belichick loves nothing more than torturing rookie QBs. He’s a hilarious 21-6 against rookie QBs since 2000 including the 45-0 game when he abused Justin Herbert last year when New England played the Chargers. That trend likely doesn’t reverse itself, but it’s also so well known that it inflates the line every time in this spot. New England looks like the only side to want to take, but I can’t see much value. No Pick

Minnesota Vikings (+4.5) at Arizona Cardinals

John: Kyler Murray and that defense vs. Kirk Cousins and the team who the Bungles blew out. Kirk Cousins, he’s our man. He’ll lead the Vikings to the promised land. It’s in the desert! Cards best bet #2. Vikes a sinking franchise. Cards -4.5

Jack: I like Arizona in this spot. They match up well against a team that everyone expects to underperform. As Steely Dan says, “Moved down to Scottsdale/Where the hell am I?” Arizona should cover. Cardinals -4.5

Nate: Minnesota looked like they had solved some issues at O-line and cornerback in the offseason. They proceeded to come out with a dud against Cincy that was riddled with penalties against that offensive line and also exposed their secondary. Kirk Cousins still got his yards and I’m not ready to give up on the Vikings having fixed some issues. I like Minnesota in this spot that feels critical for them against a hyped Arizona team. Kyler Murray Express -4.5 

Atlanta Falcons (+12.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

John: Hi Arthur, welcome to Atlanta! Only you don’t have Derrick Henry, Ryan Tannehill or Julio Jones or Mike Vrabel. News Flash: your team sucks. And Brady had three more days to prepare. Clown show in Atlanta under the big tent. Bring out the dancing Pomerans. Bucs: -12.5

Jack: This line feels insulting. These are grown men in the second week of the season. Seems like Vegas is baiting people to pick Atlanta. Go Falcons. Birds: +12.5

Nate: Agree with Jack here. This line is too high. Since 2006, road dogs bigger than 12 points are 60% against the spread. This won’t feel awesome, but take the points. Atlanta: +12.5

Tennessee Titans (+6.5) at Seattle Seahawks

John: Titans new hashtag: #WeDontSuck – or maybe they do? In one week they went from Super Bowl contenders to toilet bowl flushers. The game opened up at 4.5 and moved to 6.5 in 3 days. It’s pop at 7 at kickoff. Nobody is taking the Titans. Except me. Sam’s rule #4: best against the public (see last week’s column for 1-3). The public always loses. Redemption Day for Nashville in the boom dome. Best Bet #3. Titans + 6.5

Jack: Tennessee is the most overrated team in the NFL. Seattle is the most overrated team in the NFC West. I’m the most overrated bartender east of the Mississippi. Russell Wilson will carry his team to another uninspiring victory. Seattle -6.5

Nate: I agree that Seattle probably wins this, but the line feels like an overreaction. Seattle always finds themselves in close games, and the Titans might have played their worst game of the season last week. If you really want to play it, I think you have to hold your nose and take the points with Tennessee and hope they really aren’t as bad as they looked last week and that Russell Wilson isn’t as good as he looked last week. Here’s a fun stat: Seattle played 16 games last season, and 11 of them were one-score games. Always tough to lay points staring at that stat. No Pick

Dallas Cowboys (+3) at Los Angeles Chargers

John: Fear the ‘Boys with points. Sorry Bolts, Dak Prescott is no Ryan Fitzpatrick. ‘Boys + 3

Jack: I don’t care who wins this game. I picked the Cowboys so Nate would feel like someone believes in them. Dallas +3

Nate: The Cowboys are the better team here and they will get things on the right track after a tough game in Tampa that they barely lost. They gave Tampa all they could take, and the Chargers are not as good. Biases and homerism aside, this feels like something that will come down to the last possession with two of the best young QBs in the league. Take the points in that situation. How ‘bout them Cowboys! Cowboys +3.5!

Kansas City Chiefs (-3.5) at Baltimore Ravens

John: Dear Ravens: your defense blows. I’ll take the crazy man-child drawing up plays in the dirt. Ravens will be 0-2. It is a 5 touchdown extravaganza. Chiefs -3.5

Jack: Are the Chiefs invincible? Can Lamar Jackson put on a show in primetime? How much milk does Andy Reid drink in a week? Chiefs by 2 scores. Chiefs -3.5

Nate: Patrick Mahomes has owned Baltimore’s defense with the Chiefs averaging over 30 points per game against the Ravens. I see no reason why he wouldn’t do the same against a defense that struggled to contain a way less talented Raiders last week. Still though, this one feels like a trap and I can’t bring myself to pull the trigger. If I had to, I’d side with past history and Mahomes in this spot though. No Pick

Detroit Lions (+11) at Green Bay Packers

John: Yep, Rodgers looked lost. Yep, Pack looked sick. Yep, Pack looked overrated, old, slow and tired. Yep, they’re playing the Lions. I only bet the Lions on Thanksgiving Day. Is the stuffing in the oven? No, it’s September and Rodgers is eating Cookie Crisp in the locker room. Pack -11

Jack: Everyone’s favorite man child looks to redeem himself on Monday night. General Motors plans to phase out gasoline powered automobiles by 2030 to reduce their greenhouse gas emissions. Lions cover but it’s not going to be pretty. Detroit +11

John To Jack: Detroit will cover like Biden got 85 million votes while hiding in his basement. Both are fantasies.

Nate: This all comes down to whether or not the greatest of the Jeopardy celebrity hosts actually wants to show up for this. I can’t really tell. This looks like a good spot for the Lions to get an upset while things are still screwed up in GB. Take the Lions if you need a sweat, and maybe sprinkle some on the money-line for kicks if you must have action on Monday, but I can’t trust anybody on the field in this one. No Pick

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John Fredericks is the Publisher and Editor In Chief of The Virginia Star.
Photo “Aaron Rodgers” byAll-Pro Reels. CC BY-SA 2.0.